'THE CLOSEST YOU WILL GET'

Righto this is right off the top of my head, we are going back many, many years but here's a story for you. Brett, Pete and myself turn up in the middle of France, in fact the middle of nowhere in 'Le Car', unshowered, hungry , in need of many things. Don't know where we were , don't know where we were headed , but this was the deal. 
It's tough to remember where it was but we found a truck stop, it had a diner , we ate, then we needed sleep.
The car had enough room for two to sleep , not three , so time to do the sums, where to sleep for one extra Aussie who needed some shut eye to get refreshed for a tennis tournament? So Pete being the man who thought outside the square came up with a great idea, sleep outside.
Hey i was not one to argue , 'Le Car' was the tardis and had plenty of room ,for two , but if Pete wanted some time with nature then who were Brett and I to argue?
Despite the cramped conditions, we got some shut eye, however when  it was time to get up , stretch , smell the French air and most importantly , to have a pee, this was an issue. Where was Pete?
Now if I had three tennis bags on my right , well why would i try to get out of that side of the 'tardis' to smell the new French day? I did what i was taught to do from a young age, look for the easiest option. Left back door handle down, open door, step out, pee, shouldn't be too hard, pardon the pun. Problem was Pete found a spot in the gutter to sleep in his sleeping bag, a place of tranquility, peace and comfort, so why didn't he tell Brett and myself of his location?? 
The car door opened, with a thud , I believe 'Le Car' was on an angle in the car park so the force of the door was compounded , ten fold. Pete wore the door fair in the head. "Thommo what the f... are you doing"? "Having a pee Pete, sorry didn't see you there". 
I believe it was the start of the end of our friendship.
It spilled out into a French bakery, Pete wanted to kill me as i said the 'wrong things', don't know what but I probably referred to my practice set win or his girlfriend's short skirt, don't remember. It was the closest that any of us got to having a full on boxing bout.
 I recall in the first week of our French tour playing and beating Pete in a practice set, but i never, ever lost a practice set, even against Brett, i was unbeatable. In fact if ever there was a job as World Tennis Practice Partner with a win, win ratio, it was my job, no risk. 
All I remember about France 1991 was that it was an eye opener to World Tennis, it's a shot of realism. It's worth the money , especially to those that think they are a walk up start to Professional tennis because they have won an obscure little tournament. No amount of money could give you this 'Education' to a sport......